When Isabella Swan happened
by Tyanpa
Summary: The story of Twilight told in Edwards point of view. My first fanatic so please review, I'll accept criticism on how to improve.
1. Chapter 1

Pre-Twilight:

This is how I think Edward's POV would've been during the time before Bella came to Forks and after she does.

CarlislexEsme, EmmettxRosaline, JasperxAlice, (eventually) EdwardxBella and possibly others later on.

**Chapter 1**:

How Edwards life is so far and how he responses when Alice has a vision.

Edward's POV:

I could see the familiar faces from middle school staring at me as I got out my silver Volvo. It was my first year as a junior at Forks High School, this would be my twenty fifth time embarking in high school. It was a miserable day, it was almost like the weather was mirroring my mood, dark clouds and no sign of a sun. But that wasn't uncommon in Forks, the sun rarely saw the town and the clouds never left. That's why we were living in Forks. The constant cloud cover was bound to hide our secret from the humans. I started to walk towards the steps leading into the school. I couldn't help thinking I was making my way towards a prison, once I'm in I won't be able to leave for two years, it seemed terrifying. I could see the worries swimming throughout my peers minds.

_I hope I'm with Angela this year!_

_Oh, I wonder what my first lesson is._

Their thoughts continued to buzz around my head as I opened the door, sometimes what I'd give to shut them up. Their thoughts irritate me so badly, sometimes when it gets too much, they make me wonder why I cease to exist,

_How pathetic._

_Edward Cullen, lonely and arrogant_.

_How sad, he has no one but himself._

I don't like this anymore. The fact people don't understand why I don't get close with anyone, there is no one for me. It's too dangerous to make bonds with humans. It's stupid and irresponsible. If something went wrong it could ruin everything Carlisle's built for us. Sometimes I find myself wondering why Carlisle even saved me, he must feel some regret from time to time. I don't bring anything to our family in Forks. It's small and selective. Just the way we like it. We don't keep secrets from one another, it's stupid to. It was just me and Carlisle originally, he had promised my mother, who had no hope of surviving that he would save me from the Spanish Influenza epidemic, since then I've nearly always been with him. The first person to join us was Esme, she had jumped of a cliff and Carlisle couldn't stand to let her die so he took her for his own and they soon fell in love, my adoptive mother and father making us a family. After Esme, Rosalie Hale joined us, at first both Carlisle and Esme wanted me to fall in love with Rosalie but I don't see her that way, no doubt about it, she is astonishingly beautiful but she's no more than a sister to me. Rosalie soon found Emmett whilst she was hunting, he'd been half mauled by a bear and she begged Carlisle to save him for her, they're still together and strong. The last additions to our family were Jasper and Alice. I don't know where Alice came from, she doesn't remember anything from her human existence but she can see the future, that's over-stating it a bit, she gets visions of decisions being made and how they effect the future, and Jasper came from Texas, he also has a gift, manipulating other people's emotions. Alice had a vision of Carlisle and joined us. It still makes me wonder though, what if, just what if Carlisle hadn't of saved me? What would become of the Cullen's then? But other times, I am highly grateful Carlisle changed me from my human form, being an immortal vampire is nice sometimes, it certainly has it's adds. The speed and strength it hardly feels like a burden. But I truly hate being a monster, I share Carlisle's feelings about killing innocent humans, so our family is vegetarian. We don't touch humans at all. We never have and we never will. We live of animal's blood it keeps us strong and healthy, it's very tolerable.

_He's so freakish the way he just stares, what the hell is he looking at!_

More thoughts swam into my head, I couldn't stand school but Carlisle made me go, it would bring to much attention to the family if I didn't. I guess I brought attention to myself anyway, we all did. I walked into English and took my seat. The classrooms all looked alike here. Giant billboards covered in poetry and Shakespeare. I was thinking of girls when I saw her. She walked in the door and everything stopped. She had red curly hair, wild like. Her eyes were electric blue, they caught my attention, I watched her as she walked towards the back of the room, she saw me watching. I smiled at her.

_Eurgh, gross!_

I was furious. This is what trying to socialize gets me? How pathetic did I look? The bell sounded and I was gone, I didn't linger in between classes, besides it was lunch. Because we don't eat we have a whole hour to spend with each other, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, they were also enrolling in high school. I sat down next to Alice and Jasper, the others hadn't turned up yet. I immediately felt a wave of emotion as Jasper tried to calm me down. I was almost calm when he spoke.

"Edward what's wrong?" His voice was full of eagerness.

"Nothing, everything's fine." I murmured in response.

"Edward I've known you for 5 decades to know when somethings wrong and somethings not, I don't need to read your mind to know." He declared, it seemed odd when he says it like that, had I really known him for fifty years? I cleared my throat and replied, "Jasper I'm fine, just leave it." He shrugged and turned to face Alice. I envied him so badly sometimes. I didn't even think they knew how lucky they really were. Jasper and Alice, Alice and Jasper, it never sounded badly. It was stupid, realistically I should have found someone by now, I had been roaming the Earth since 1918, how unfair could it get?

"So bro, what'd you say to going hunting tonight?" I was to concealed in my thoughts to notice Emmett and Rosalie join us. I was disgusted with myself, how could I be so selfish?

"Sure." I didn't know what I'd missed, it could've been important.

"Edward are you with us at all today?" Asked Rosalie, I was beginning to get fed up of everyone asking me questions. I grunted in response.

"He's just miffed because Kelly ignored him in English." Alice perked up, she was such a nuisance even though she was so tiny. Emmett and Rosalie eyed me.

"Who?" Asked Emmett.

"Just some stuck up girl who thinks she's perfect." Alice grinned at me, "She'd be nice to have as a Barbie though." That was enough, it was almost like they were all teasing me. I couldn't stand it. I stood up and stormed out from the cafeteria.

By the time everyone else got home I had managed to listen to 59 songs. I didn't care if they were feeling guilty, they shouldn't push me like they do. My door creaked open and Alice tiptoed in.

"What do you want?" It came out more bitter than I'd intended.

"I'm sorry Edward!" She should be, I couldn't help but think it, she had told Emmett about Kelly, he was never going to let it rest now. "I didn't know you felt that way about her!" I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Me like Kelly, a human in that way?

"Alice I don't." I laughed harder as her face fell.

"Edward Cullen, if you don't like her at all why did you try and get her attention?" She was frowning at me, I could tell her, I think I could.

"I just wanted to socialize, Alice I'm fed up of people thinking I'm lonely." I sighed, "I'm tired of being alone Alice." She took my hand in hers and gave it a tight squeeze.

"You're never alone Edward." She whispered it in my ear, it was barely audible.

"Alice, you have Jasper, Rosalie has Emmett and Carlisle has Esme, who do I have?" My voice was gaining tension.

"Everyone." She pecked my cheek and rested her head upon my shoulder. I sighed again.

"I know that Alice, I want to be loved like you love Jasper. I want to feel what you feel," I paused taking in a deep breath, "I've been alone for too long Alice, I think I deserve something soon."

"I know Edward, I know." She dropped my hand.

"Alice..." I muttered, Alice had froze, her eyes wide open. I grasped her arms and spoke into her ear, "Alice what can you see?" Her head turned, we were face to face, eye to eye. I couldn't stop it happening but I found myself sharing her vision, a face of a girl swimming through my mind, a beautiful pale girl at that. She had brown wavy hair and her smile melted my invisible heart. She couldn't be one of us, could she? Her eyes were a muddy brown but they were unquestionably beautiful. Another face appeared, Chief Swan, he had his arm around the mysterious girl, He was smiling at her, holding her tight. He looked into her eyes and said,

"Welcome home kiddo." The vision ended, I never knew Chief Swan had a daughter, I had no reason to know, but I was curious. I found my eyes staring at Alice's mouth, she was grinning.

"What?" I demanded.

"Think about what you were saying," I looked at her bewildered, she continued, "Now think about what you've just saw." I stared at her, could it mean what I thought it meant?


	2. Chapter 2

Pre-Twilight:

This is how I think Edward's POV would've been during the time before Bella came to Forks and after she does.

CarlislexEsme, EmmettxRosaline, JasperxAlice, (eventually) EdwardxBella and possibly others later on.

**Chapter 2**:

How Edward reacts to knowing someone is coming to be with him possibly.

Edward's POV:

I was driving home in my silver Volvo when her face appeared in my mind again, who was she? Why had Alice had a vision about her? What was she to do with us? I had a million questions I wanted to ask, but who could I ask? Her? No that's impossible, I don't even know who she is. Why am I obsessing over this girl? She doesn't mean anything to me, how could she? But how I'd love to have someone like Carlisle has Esme, it's beyond my imagination to think of how it could be.

I pulled into our house, it was once an old building which no one used. Esme loves to restore houses and this one she had done a remarkable job on. The house which stood today was painted white, it had giant windows and glass doors. The house itself was rectangular shaped, it was three stories tall and welcomed you in with one look. I walked in through the front door to find myself face-to-face with Esme.

"How was school Edward?" She questioned me in her flowery voice.

"Fine" I answer, I wasn't in the mood to talk. School wasn't fine, it was boring and awkward now. Alice had told everyone about her vision of Chief Swan's daughter. Thankfully though, she hadn't told them the part about me feeling lonely and full of envy. But, everyone was still getting their own ideas about it. I didn't know why, but everything was getting to me, it was almost like I was getting... nervous. I'd never met a girl before, well, a girl like that anyway. A girl who could mean something to me, I had never had anyone like that.

"Edward, darling you don't sound great, are you alright?" What the hell was wrong with everyone? Was everyone just giving me attention for no reason or had something happened? Why couldn't anyone sense I wanted to be alone.

"Yeah I'm good." I murmured, I gave her a peck on the cheek and went to my room, with any luck I'd be alone for few hours. Normally when I was alone I would either study or play music. I couldn't read at the moment, my thoughts got entangled within the words, her face, it was so beautiful. If I had a heart it would be trying to break free of my ribcage. I had longed for someone for so long, maybe, with any luck this was going to mean something, maybe change my life as I see it. Maybe, someday Carlisle would feel happy about changing me, maybe I'd feel happy about myself. Stop, I can't get ahead of myself... I don't know anything about this girl or what she has to do with me. What would happen if I met her? When would I meet her? I was so confused.

After I realised I'd disappeared for a few hours I was halfway downstairs when I heard Alice and Jasper whispering frantically. I could hear every word.

"But he might react really bad-"

"You don't know that." Interrupted Jasper.

"But you don't know either!" Alice snapped. My foot creaked on the stairs as I turned to go back up, Alice was in front of me in seconds.

"Hi," I said it as calmly as I could, I could feel my voice tensing.

"How much did you hear?" Alice demanded.

"Everything," It came out barely higher than a whisper.

"I'm sorry Edward," She took a deep breath, it was starting to get dramatic. "I'm just worried."

"Why?" I was curious,

_Why? Don't ask me why._

_You can hear me, don't pretend now._

"Alice, why would you be worried about me?" I was putting on a polite voice.

"Edward I had two more visions." She looked at me, I could see everything. I was stood over a body in a dark alley, I could see the blood on my lips, I could almost smell the rich scent, then I saw her face... It was _her._ It was suddenly gone, and replaced with the same girl but in a different place... We were in my room, I was biting her, but not killing her, I didn't understand. I had pulled back in the vision. I was now stood watching her as she writhed in pain, screaming about the burning sensation flowing through her veins, an outline of my teeth on her neck, she was becoming one of us. I stopped watching.

"What... was... that?" I questioned, my voice was raising in volume.

"She's the one Edward, yours."

"What do you mean?"

"She'll be the perfect human for you." She paused and smiled, "Edward her blood will be calling for you. It'll be like a beacon drawing your attention."

My hands started to shake, I was taking in so much air, breathing without the need to, what was happening? I felt so confused, I thought this would turn into something different not _this!_ How could it? Surly it wasn't possible, it wouldn't be allowed. She wouldn't stay, would she? How would I stay away from her, how could I resist the blood the runs in her veins calling for me? It's was unavoidable, wasn't it?

"Edward it'll be fine." Alice was rubbing my shoulder, she was trying to reassure me, "Edward you won't fail Carlisle, I know you won't." Carlisle. I needed to talk to him. He was the only one who could completely handle human blood. He was the only person he would be able to advise me. I felt Alice brush past me, she whispered in my ear,

"You know you won't too." How? How could she be sure that I wouldn't murder this beautiful human? Even I wasn't sure. I ran upstairs, it took me less than two seconds. I sat by my window and waited, I needed Carlisle. _Why, why, why!_ Why did he have the late shift at the hospital the one night I needed to speak with him. It was just my luck.

The minutes were turning to hours, how much longer would he take? I wasn't growing tired, our kind never did. I was growing impatient and irritable. Emmett had been up to see me, I was afraid he was going to tease me again. I was shocked when he said he knew what I was going through.

"Edward bro, I've been through it twice, once worse than the other." I looked at him, he had told me this before.

"What did you do? How did you cope?" I spat questions out like poison.

"I didn't, I couldn't resist." My hopes fell. They were scattered like a bomb. "Sorry mate, but I know you'll do better than me." How? Emmett was stronger than me, he was smarter than me, how would I possibly do better than him? "Edward you have more self-control then me. I see something I want I take it, I don't now how to resist something that strong. You'll find a way Edward, you always do." He clamped me on the shoulder and disappeared downstairs. That's when I saw it. The black Mercedes glided round the corner. The door open and slammed shut, I heard his voice downstairs, he was talking to Esme, I couldn't interrupt them, Esme deserved something, being stuck at home with no one but herself, doesn't she ever get lonely? I could hear him moving upstairs. He was going to his study, maybe I could speak to him there. I could hear more voices, what was going on?

"Where is he?" What did Carlisle mean?

"Upstairs."

"Edward, Alice told me everything." It was Carlisle, he was standing behind me with one hand on my shoulder, it almost made me jump. "Come on son, you can't hide from us." His voice was so calm, too calm for what could happen. I turned and faced him, if I could cry my gold eyes would be like a heavy waterfall. "Edward, it's going to be fine."

"How do you know that?" I murmured.

"I just know, you have a lot of self-control." He patted my shoulder and sighed. "Esme wants you to play a song for her." I shook my head. "You owe her something Edward, she loves to hear you play." How could he ask me to play when I was in such a bitter mood? It was irrational. I couldn't play, I wouldn't play.

"Fine." I snapped, the words had escaped my mouth before I could stop them. It such a foolish mistake, I now had to face Esme, the one person who'd been a mother to me, I couldn't tell her about my worries. I wouldn't do that to her, at least I didn't think I could. "Wait," I needed to ask Carlisle something, "Carlisle, how do you stand it?"

"Stand what?" I hardly heard him sound worried, his voice was always calm.

"Stand being so close to human blood, working with people who're hurt and dying, how do you not defy yourself?"

His expression changed, he was almost laughing, "A lot of practice, Edward is this about the girl?" What a stupid question, who else would it be about.

"Yes." I tried to sound calm, "I don't think I'll be able to resist, I'm scared Carlisle." I had never admitted my fears before. Never. But here I was talking to the nearest thing to a father I had telling him I was afraid of a human.

"Edward, I'm not saying you won't feel the urge to..." He pulled my face to face his, "Well you know what I mean, but I just know you won't do anything you'll regret, and even if you do, we won't think of you differently, you'll always be my first son Edward." I loved the way he called me his son, even though I heard it often, it still made me warm inside. I smiled at Carlisle,

"Ok. I'll see how it goes I guess, but Carlisle, if it's terrible, I'm not enduring it."

"I'm not asking you too." He returned my smile and went downstairs.

I loved to play the piano, it almost soothed my emotions completely. We made our way downstairs to find Esme already sitting on the piano stool. She loved to watch me play. I made my own music, Esme adored her own lullaby I composed for her.

"Move over then." I smiled at Esme. She gave me a tight hug then moved over to make enough room for me. I sat down and fingered the piano keys. They were smooth and clean. "What'd you want to hear then?"

"Oh, I don't know something new!" I sighed, she reminded me of a toddler sometimes.

"Edward, don't tell me you haven't composed _anything_ new?" She empathized the word anything. I hadn't composed anything in a while.

"Well... There is a lullaby I've been working on." Her face shone. "It isn't another one for you." I chuckled.

My fingers found their way to the white keys and started playing. Once I'd started I couldn't stop, I added a whole new line of notes. I stopped after 5 minutes and I felt... happy. It took me a while to notice the silence. I thought something had happened, Esme was as still as a statue, not breathing or moving at all.

"Esme?" I asked, my voice was hoarse.

"Oh Edward! That was beautiful!" I looked at Carlisle, he looked as if he'd been physically moved by my music.

"That was good Edward, how long did it take you to compose that?" He grinned at me.

"Not long, an hour or two."

"Really – what was the inspiration?"

"Well... That girl Alice saw, it just came to my mind whilst I was thinking of her..." Carlisle chuckled. It was so easy to please Carlisle, he never expected anything from you.

"Edward, didn't I tell you that you have nothing to worry about." I nodded. He looked away and laughed. I followed his gaze and stared as Esme. She was sat bolt up straight with a massive grin on her face. I could hear her thoughts.

_Oh, maybe I'll get at least one grandchild from this one._

She's unbelievable.


	3. Chapter 3

Pre-Twilight:

This is how I think Edward's POV would've been during the time before Bella came to Forks and after she does.

CarlislexEsme, EmmettxRosaline, JasperxAlice, (eventually) EdwardxBella and possibly others later on.

**Chapter 3**:

Edward finds this mysterious girl and says how he reacts and why.

Edward's POV:

We were sat in the cafeteria pretending to be eating. It was great how nobody took notice of us anymore. We used to always get odd questions about why we didn't eat. A dinner lady once asked Alice if she had an eating disorder. We were sat in silence thinking. Emmett wanted to go hunting somewhere new and we did have a holiday coming up. Then it hit me. It was like a thousand floral flowers had been thrust into my nose. My throat burned as if I'd swallowed fire itself. That's when I saw _her_. She was here, in Forks. This was too soon, it had only been two weeks since the first vision. I caught her looking at me, curious to know more. People were coming in and out of the room, the wind was picking up drifting the scent over to me, stronger than it was before.

"What the hells wrong with you!" Emmett growled.

"It's... that girl." I couldn't speak without her scent surrounding me.

"What girl?" No one had told him about her. I stared at Alice hoping she was happy. I felt like I was dying, it was so painful. I looked at the girl again, she was laughing with Jessica Stanley, her skin was so radiant it was breathtaking. It was almost like she could feel me staring, she turned round so that she was facing me and our eyes met, I don't know how I managed to stop myself from lunging at her. I turned away trying to think of something else.

Alice had already ran from the room squeaking with excitement. I was so annoyed, I could feel my temper rising.

"I need to get out of here." I whispered.

"No Edward. Wait until she's left." Rosalie murmured. This was beyond torture. The pain was unimaginable. I wanted to curl into a ball and die. My eyes glanced at her again. I couldn't help myself but wonder, what was she thinking coming to Forks? Didn't she know about us!

_What a beautiful boy, his hair it's gorgeous._

I couldn't resist the temptation of reading her thoughts. I was surprised how she thought I was beautiful. I wasn't anything compared to her.

_Humph, I wonder when he turned Jessica down._

I could see her smiling. My cheek reacted instantaneously. I couldn't stop it from moving but I grinned.

"Let's go." It was Emmett who said it. Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett had rose out of their seats I followed them out. We got outside and Rosalie kissed my cheek goodbye. I ran outside into the open air. I stood there letting the wind blow around my face, fresh scentless air, I could breathe without pain. My thirst was almost gone. The bell sounded and I moved towards Biology. Great, Mr. Banner, as if I didn't have enough to worry about. I opened the door and sat down on the blacktop tables. I managed to get my books out. I was staring out the window when the door opened and her scent raced towards me. _No, no, no!_ She couldn't be in my Biology class. She looked towards and I met her glaring eyes, the thirst was coming back.

She looked away turning red, Mr. Banner was handing her books. I looked around the class, there was only one seat left.

She was redder than a tomato when she reached my desk. She nearly tripped over her own feet as she sat down. Her scent was so strong, how could I resist any longer. My mouth inched towards her, my teeth barred. Carlisle's face appeared in my mind, I couldn't not for myself, it was too selfish. I moved my stool away from hers and sat on the very edge. My hand curled into a fist as I concentrated on not killing her. She kept looking at me. I stared back, it was the only way I could remind myself she was there. It was then I realised, I couldn't hear her thoughts, what the hell was going on? The bell sounded and I ran, I didn't care if anyone noticed how I'd disappeared so fast, as long as I was away from _her_ I was happy. I wasn't going to another lesson, no, I couldn't risk it again. I ran to my car and turned a CD on. Mozart, just what I needed. I sat in the car waiting for the final bell to ring, I'd change the time I had Biology, something _must_ be open. Something _had_ to be open. I wasn't going to risk anything.

Time drags on so slowly when you want it to pass, I've been living for over a century and I never understood time. I was standing in reception waiting for Ms. Cope to be free. She was a small, plum woman with red hair.

"Ms. Cope?" I was trying to sound polite.

"Yes Mr. Cullen?" Her voice was scratchy and annoying.

"I need to change from sixth-hour Biology, please." She tutted but fetched the timetable. She was easy to manipulate. It was that moment when Ms. Cope was reading, the door burst open and my throat burned once more. _She_ was in the room with me. Ms. Cope was taking her time reading. I felt my hand retreating into a fist, I was getting impatient, could I really resist her any longer? Didn't Ms. Cope realise the danger she was putting this innocent girl and not to mention herself in? If I let go I could kill the whole school, no, that's exaggerating. I wouldn't let it get that bad, but I might, who knows what could happen, I might not be able to stop once I've tasted her blood. No, of course she didn't know about the danger, how could she, I was being stupid. I was about to give up on changing Biology and run out the room when Ms. Cope finally finished searching for a space.

"I'm sorry Edward, everything's full." Great, what now, I'd end up murdering her before the year was over. My back stiffened from underneath my jacket. The door opened, someone came in and put a note in the wire basket, the wind blew through the open door and carried her scent towards me. I turned around glaring at her. I needed to get out, to get out this instant.

"Never mind then," I tried to speak quickly, it ended up coming out rudely, "I can see that's impossible. Thank you so much for your help." I really didn't give a damn about the fact that she'd helped me. Why should I? I turned around hastily, I could sense that _she_ was watching me, her smell breezing towards me, why couldn't she just back off and stop following me? I pushed the door open and walked out feeling the fresh air brush through my hair. I was able to breathe and let go. A snarl escaped my throat, I could feel people watching me as I practically ran towards my car, I opened the door and got in, I stepped on the throttle and disappeared. I didn't know where I was going, I couldn't stand school now, now that she was there, it was too dangerous. If I lost concentration at all I could become a murderer. I had been driving for hours when I remembered Carlisle's words.

"_Well you know what I mean, but I just know you won't do anything you'll regret, and even if you do, we won't think of you differently, you'll always be my first son Edward." _I drove to the hospital without thinking. Carlisle would understand, he had to understand. It took me ages to find him.

"Carlisle," I could hardly talk, "I can't do it."

"Do what? Edward are you hurt?" Hurt? How could I be hurt, I was immortal.

"No, no nothing like that, except yes, I am hurt. Emotionally and morally anyway." He stared at me. "Carlisle she's here, at school. I can't endure it, please don't ask me too."

"I'm not going to son."

"It's too dangerous, I need to leave." I looked him in the eyes, "It's the last thing I want to do but I don't have another choice."

"Edward you'll always have a choice." I hated it when he gave me lectures, this wasn't the time.

"No. Carlisle what if I lose it and follow her home? What if I corner her in an alley like Alice's vision? What if." I stopped, I couldn't continue. Surly he understood why I had to leave now.

"Ok. Go to our friend's in Alaska, take my car, it has a full gas tank." We exchanged keys and I turned to leave. "Wait, Edward!" He called after me, no, not second thoughts, please don't.

"Yes?" He didn't say anything, he just pulled me to his chest and hugged me. I was amazed. Carlisle never got this close.

_I'm not sure, whether or not to continue, I've found out that Stephenie Meyer is doing a fifth book completely from Edward's POV, so it seems pointless to continue. _


End file.
